


Night Musings

by mattie9



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: F/F, One Shot, Pre-Canon, Romance, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-10 23:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11702292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattie9/pseuds/mattie9
Summary: Short vignette describing Patsy's thoughts as she walks back to the Nurses home with Delia.





	Night Musings

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for all the kudos+ lovely comments on my last story. It was a little out of my comfort zone, so all the feedback was greatly appreciated.
> 
> I thought I'd write something a little more cheery after all the angst from last time.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy it

There was a chill in the air. I walked beside her down the road, our footsteps softly echoing in the stillness of the night. The moon shone bright, bathing the darkened city in light. It’s a beautiful night, but my eyes didn't see the city. Instead my eyes, my thoughts, my very being was consumed by the even lovelier dream beside me.

How long had we known each other? Almost two years? A lifetime? Longer? Sometimes it seemed so. The time we did have together was precious, filled with stolen moments and tribulation.

I slowed my steps, so that she walked slightly ahead of me. Now close to the nurses home, I wanted to put a little distance between us. We’d just talked last week that we needed to be more careful. We were getting carried away. Spending too much time in each other’s rooms. Staying past curfew. She looked hurt but agreed, knowing I wasn’t going to budge with this.

 So, there we were walking silently back to our rooms, having enjoyed the darkness of the cinema for a few hours. I took the opportunity to watch her without her knowledge. I'd learned all the tricks and in this time of caution, this is all I could do for now.

It’s funny how both the day and night favored her, but I likeed her with the moonlight the best, when we are alone and nothing is hidden.

Oh god. I knew where this was going, and I knew I wasn’t going to like it.

What was it about this woman that made my blood burn? I'd asked myself countless times, but with each answer there was yet another.

My eyes drifted to her glossy hair. I had often laid beside her long after she’s fast asleep, and just caressed the length, cherishing their liberation from the bun they’re usually trapped in. The fine silken hairs caressed my memory as if my hands were truly running through them now.

No. I couldn’t break so easily. I was the one who said we needed to keep a low profile for a few weeks.

No. I had to be strong.

Almost regretfully I turned my attention away from its shine and drift on. She looked back at me questioningly, I’d fallen more behind than usual. I hastened to catch up, and her pursed lips split into a gentle smile. I dropped my gaze again, my mind slipping back a few months ago when our lips met. So sensuous it was. Fire and ice. Pain and pleasure.  I remembered it so clearly and in my mind I feel her soft lips on mine. Light touches at first which quickened slightly into harder kisses as I tried to melt into her, lest I never get to experience this ever again.

I abruptly pushed away the apparition in annoyance. What was I doing? I couldn't even control my thoughts! I rolled my eyes at the absurdity of my dreaming, but like a moth to a flame, I couldn’t turn away.

Once again my eyes embraced her skin, traveling thirstily along her body. Flashbacks of a thousand kisses and caresses that I'd worshipped upon her body teased me as I felt my pulse increase yet again. Surely she could hear it pounding in the quiet of the night? But no...she gave no sign and the we continued on.

One step in front of the other. One breathe after another. Automatically it's supposed to come to me and yet I seemed to have to will myself to go on, to take a breath. For just the sight of her now made me weak and drives the air from my lungs.

Never before had anyone affected me this way, and I prayed that it shall forever be like this between us. This feeling and need I had for her was a pain I would gladly accept for the rest of my days.

I tried to control my breathing as I roam over her with my eyes, conquering all with just my gaze alone.

She looked at me, and waited and waited for me to catch up to her again.

“You’re being awfully slow today.”   

I blinked rapidly for a moment, for I could swear I see the liquid pools of her eyes melting into my own, full of arousal and need. But it was only fantasy, as she was still waiting for me as as we turned the final corner towards our destination.

My disappointment was eased slightly as I brought those orbs back from the depths of my memory, those colorful eyes that never ceased to stop my heart. Time and time again I'd fallen into those bottomless depths to drown willingly.

We finally reached our destination; it’s still an hour before curfew, so it was quiet. We made our way to our rooms, and as I hastened to take my leave, she beat me to speech.

“Nightcap?” She asked softly.

I could only nod as I followed her mutely inside.

Could she see? Didn't she know? I wanted her so badly, but there was something that made me hold back from telling her. Pride. I was powerless before her.

We had to be so careful.

But I was so powerless.

I sat down on her bed as she took the bottle out of the hiding place and poured us a healthy measure.  Just as I had thought myself back in control, she turned to hand me a glass and our eyes met. I could not pull away. God help me. The floodwaters threatening to burst past the dam of my soul.

So easily she could do this to me and yet she seemed so oblivious to it now. I reached up and wiped the sweat from my brow. The pleasant cool night suddenly felt like a furnace upon my skin, heating me to the core. This was too much to take! Why did I torture myself like this? The answer came to me swiftly. Because I loved her, and She hesitated for a second before leaning onto my shoulder. A soft sigh as she looked out into the streets pensively. My gaze bored into her. At this point I wasn’t just sneaking looks, but staring outright, undressing her, loving her with my eyes. So much for her being observant.

All I wanted was to lean in and kiss her.

To know what I felt in my heart, to feel it in her soul.

To feel her heat warming my skin, her eyes boring into mine...her eyes...

Her eyes!

I flushed deeply in realization. For this was no illusion, no dream of my mind. She was looking at me curiously.

“Are you alright? You're being so quiet today.”

She leaned in close to me, her eyes gazing into mine, melting me completely with the fire that burns within. _God I could kill for a smoke._

“Just thinking.” I managed to sputter.

"And what are you thinking about?" Her mischievous tone only enhanced her lilt. If it was at all possible, it raised my temperature more.

"Ummm..." My throat was raspy, unresponsive. I pulled my eyes away from hers trying to compose myself. I looked away trying to will blood back into my brain. After what seemed like an eternity to me, but was in truth only a few heartbeats, I believed I had the words that would get me out of my predicament.

Bravely I looked back up into those fiery eyes, doing my best to put the reins on my passion. _Get a hold of yourself, Patience. Breathe. Ok...now breathe normally. Good._

"What was the question?" _Oh yes. Good answer._ I guessed the blood in my body has better places to be than my brain.

She laughed.

"I guess I don't have to ask then." Her voice washed through me, lower this time. Rich and full of something...something I recognized as being primal within myself.

I shuddered as she leaned in closer. Then, without preamble, she gave me what I wanted, and suddenly her lips met mine.

No soft kisses to start. We crashed together, two separate forces of nature. Earth and sea.

Sparks. Flood.

Fire. Ice.

Finally we broke our kiss, each of us breathless. Her hand had wandered from my back to my waist now.  My own hands had traveled from her shoulders, one entangled in her glorious tresses as the other caresses her back, pulling her closer to me, molding her into me.

I've surrendered. No longer could I hide my passion from her as we lock our gaze again. With a low growl I narrowed my eyes, my nostrils flaring as her scent seared into my fevered brain.

"I want you.” I whispered. “Now!"

She kissed me again, leaving me near boneless in her embrace.

Again she pulled back, and this time I moaned in protest.

"Actually, Pats." My girlfriend smiled at me knowingly. "You've wanted me for the past hour and a half."

_She knew. All this time, she knew!_

She laughed softly as she kissed me again.

Well.

So much for extra caution then.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, comments/ suggestions welcome!


End file.
